Saturday, August 18, 2007

How to Solve Relationship Problems


Relationship problems with your spouse, family, co-workers, or friends affect your personal growth, success and well being. If you value relationships, you need to make good choices and be committed to make them work. I sincerely believe the following are actions you can take to start to build healthy relationships.

Steps

1. Understand each others personal values. Misunderstandings and conflicts happen when your values conflict with those of others and when expectations are not met. You can let others know what your values are by telling them. You can find out about others values by asking questions or observing their actions. Knowing what’s important to others and yourself will avoid unnecessary conflicts.

2. Learn to listen. All people want to be taken seriously and be appreciated. When you listen attentively without interrupting you are showing respect. Allow people to tell you; the books they have read, the things they did and how they feel. Listening will give you the opportunity to know their values and expectations.

3. Show kindness. You can Smile, it is the simplest act to show friendliness. Make others feel your warmth by offering help and kind words. Acknowledge their talents and achievements. Give praise and appreciate their efforts. Show it in your tone of voice, your posture and your actions.

4. Avoid arguments. Remove ego and pride. In arguments people want to prove a point using force, threats and intimidation causing resentment, no one actually wins or benefits. Step back and look at the situation from a different point of view. You are not submitting but altering the outcome by letting others see that you are committed to the relationship and "taking off the GLOVES" and trying to compromise. Forgive people they make mistakes. If you have made a mistake, admit it and apologize sincerely.

5. Give and take. Give what you are comfortable with and accept what other can give. Contribute your time and effort without unreasonable expectations in return. When you do good deeds for others, let that be it's own reward so that you don't build resentments.

6. Share your feelings. Ask for what you want and need. People can’t read your mind. Make your request with a smile be direct don't use "HINTS". Communicate and share your thoughts and feelings with them. Open up and allow them to understand you.

7. Develop trust. Trust is the foundation of healthy relationships. Keep your promises. Once people trust you, you can have a healthy relationship.

Tips

* Keep in mind the results you want.

* Remember it is better to be happy than to be right.

* Compromise on everything except your integrity.

* Relationships may come and go but your self respect is everlasting.

* Good relationships require effort but they are worth it.

* Just remember no-one is perfect.

* Read your partner's body actions and check how they are feeling - it should be both sides that need to listen and respect.

Find a better Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Having trouble finding a boyfriend or girlfriend who is just right for you? Want to get closer to someone? Here are some steps to follow.

Steps

1.Get friendly.

Be awesome at anything; if you are smart, show it off, if you are funny, make her laugh, or if you are good at sports, give a demonstration. Let people know how you are different. Look far and wide. If you find yourself without 'any prospects', then you are probably not looking in the right places. Think of what you like to do that defines who you are. Ask yourself, where would someone meet me ? If you're into sports or exercise, then look into places where people do those activities.

2. Look for someone who you can easily talk to. The most important part of any type of relationship is communication. If you cannot communicate effectively with your partner, your relationship will probably not go far.

3. Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.

4. Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good.

5. Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common. School, parents, teachers, vacations, etc. Anything besides a relationship should be fairly safe territory.

6. Flirt. Flirting is a fine activity if you are interested in people who like to flirt. The social and playful activity certainly draws attention and can lead to a relationship. If it is not you, then don't bother, it is better to be yourself.

7. Take things slowly. Don't be too needy. They'll think you're just an annoying friend and you probably don't want them to think that. That special person might actually ask you over or on a date, which doesn't necessarily mean that he or she is into you. Give it time and things could work out. Once you have established 'first contact', remember not to squeeze the person. Try to continue doing your normal routine, with them in mind, rather than changing your whole life around them. Hopefully they will want to have a relationship with YOU, not a clone of themselves or a tag along.

Tips

* Try to look nice -- looks count for first impressions.

* If a girl only thinks you are talking to her because you want to "get with" her, she will not be too interested. Make it more meaningful.

* Try to be close with the person's family. It will strengthen the relationship.

Warnings

* Never compromise your morals. If the person you are interested in is not interested in you, let them know your intentions, they could abuse your attraction to their benefit.

* If you feel like you need time to decide, do not hesitate to take it. Your goal is finding a good mate for a relationship. If something feels wrong, think things through twice before acting.

* To really get to know a person, try to delay intimacy as much as possible so you'll be able to make the best objective decision on whether or not this will be a good relationship for the both of you. Many people find it difficult to see people for what they really are, after they've started an intimate relationship. Even though you want to take someone passionately. Try small gestures, like hand-holding, pecks on the cheek. This is really recommended for women and if you feel like abstaining from intimacy for a period of time is almost unbearable, just keep your mind focused on how good of an "investment" you are making for your future, by just a little patience and sacrifice of your time now.