Sunday, July 22, 2007

How to Hint for a Kiss from a Guy

In most societies around the world, it's traditionally up to the guy to initiate a couple's first kiss. If you're a girl, this takes a lot of pressure off you, but sometimes it can be frustrating if you want to be kissed but your guy is a little too shy to try to kiss you.

Here's how to hint that you would like to be kissed.

Steps

1. Be inviting.

Because of respect for your wishes (and the fear of rejection) a guy generally won't try for a first kiss unless he's pretty sure you want him to. If you do, you should try to make him feel comfortable and confident. Flirt with him, laugh at his jokes, smile a lot, and compliment him. If you put him at ease and let him know you enjoy being with him, he'll usually find the courage to try to kiss you.

2. Break the "touch barrier."

Touch him lightly on the arm or shoulder when you're talking. Just make it a quick, innocent touch and don't make a big deal out of it. Holding hands is also a good way to break the touch barrier. The simple act of touching can strengthen the intimacy between you and him. Sometimes a guy will break the touch barrier, and if you're comfortable with him doing so, touch him back. But don't wait for a guy to make the first move here, because girls can generally get away with breaking the touch barrier earlier in a relationship than guys can.

3. Look to his lips.

When you're alone with a guy and want to be kissed, make eye contact and then move your gaze briefly down to his lips. Then move your eyes back up to meet his and smile demurely. You don't have to be really obvious about it. Many guys will take the hint, especially if they've read one of the many articles that lists this as a sign that a girl wants to be kissed. If it doesn't work the first time, try again when the time is right.

4. Move in.

You have to be close to each other to kiss, and the less distance a guy has to travel to kiss you, the easier it is for him to give it a try. So get close. When the moment seems right, put your face close to his and look at him expectantly. If you're brave, you could try moving in as though you're going to kiss him. Hopefully he'll take the hint and kiss you, but if he doesn't you can give him a playful little kiss on the cheek.

5. Talk about it.

If the guy isn't taking your subtle hints, bring up kissing in conversation. For example, if you're watching a movie together and see an on-screen kiss, mention that it's "so romantic" or something to that effect. If the guy is really shy, you might just want to put it on the line and tell him that you'd like him to kiss you.

6. Kiss him.

There's no law that says the guy has to initiate the kiss, and some guys--especially if they've never kissed a girl before--just won't take your hints. If you want to kiss him, just go ahead and do it.

Tips

* If the guy seems to be talking a lot, especially if he's talking quickly, he could be nervous because he's thinking about kissing you. In this case, an old trick is to tell him, "You talk too much." Say it playfully and with a smile, and maybe even briefly put your finger to his lips as though you're "shushing" him. And then kiss him lightly on his lips and pause for a moment; at this point the two of you should be really close and he will most probably initiate a kiss.

* One way to get a guy to move closer is to pretend to shake as though you're cold. If he doesn't snuggle up to you, you then have a good excuse to snuggle up to him.

* Don't be too heartbroken if you don't get a kiss. The guy may just not be ready yet, or he may not like you in that way.

* Sometimes the first kiss can be a bit disappointing, especially if a guy doesn't have any kissing experience. If your guy can't kiss well, read about how to deal with a bad kisser.

* Men are often afraid of crossing the line because they are not sure if they have read the hints right! It can be easier for all (after building up the mood!) if you are clear about what you want, no hinting, no hidden meanings etc. Put your hands around his waist and say "I want to kiss you now" or something similar.

Warnings

* Telling a guy he talks too much may result in you annoying him. If he likes to talk, or thought he was actually trying to have a conversation with you, and is TOTALLY oblivious to what you are trying to do, he may take offense, and think that you don't care about what he has to say. Use this technique with caution.

* Never feel pressured to go farther than you want to go. It's OK to just want a kiss, and you can and should say "no" to anything that makes you uncomfortable. Remember also to respect the guy's wishes if he just doesn't want to kiss you.

* If your kiss isn't as romantic as you had hoped, don't worry! Lots of people have awkward beginnings to relationships. If this is the big one, then you'll have plenty more opportunities for kissing (in other words, it doesn't have to be perfect).

* Many guys view hints as overly complicated, especially in this day and age of sexual harassment lawsuits. Often, the best approach is to come right out and say it.